It's Not My Fault your Chichis Were Out!

"shake those titties, Tortoro!"

How dumb right! Okay like on fourth of July I was being hella high with my cousins, and like we have this little cousin (I think he is like 10 or 16 or some shit) who we call Totoro because he is round and fluffy... what were not being mean, he likes the nick name. Anyway, my nutty Christian aunt was having a Hawaiian theme barbecue and Totoro thought it would be a good idea to put on a hula skirt, and a pair of coconut shells (sometimes I wonder) with no shirt on. Anyway, my cousins and I see Tortoro in this outfit, and start cracking up... I call tortoro over and I am all like, "Tortoro can you hula for us," and like a professional pussy shaker, he starts shaking those fat boy thighs like the rent is due. We all start laughing including Tortoro, but then I get a call, and I tell my cousins that I have to pick up something from my friend's house, which was a lie... It was a booty call from this really hot Mexican boy with a perky ass... but anyway....

I return back to my aunts place, it has been 2 hours and my cousins and crazy christian aunt are in a prayer circle. Tortoro is off to the side all red and sweaty and whimpering, did I mention his coconut top has come off and his fat boy chichis have come out. Once Tortoro sees me, he screams, "auntie, there he is." My aunt comes at me, with a furious face, and starts screaming at me about how my great idea made Tortoro cry. Apparently, this is what happened, my Chola and Cholo cousin, kept on egging on Tortoro to shake his money maker even though Tortoro was tired...they did this long enough that Tortoro's coconut bra fell off. Finally, Tortoro was fed up and stopped and started walking away. But my Cholita cousin, who looks like snow white, but wears misfits shirts, and draws her eyebrows on with a sharpie reached out and twist Tortoro's nipple and demands more which was followed up by my cholo cousin, who has a shaved head and a gang tattoo but wears Danzig shirts punching him in the arm, and was all like, "shake those titties, Tortoro!"Apparently, this went on for an hour and a half, and whenever Tortoro would stop my cholita cousin would twist his titty followed by her brother punching Tortor in the arm. And apparently for the hour and in a half Tortoro was dancing and crying like a real stripper....I am serious I can't make this shit up! Anyway, after my aunt was done screaming at me and trying to convince me to pray with them, I went up to Tortoro and apologized but threw in , "It's Not My Fault your Chichis Were Out!"

Cheers,

Hella Mexican